Knocking, Reversed

The vibrations, jarring

(I don’t want to do this again)

Knocking

Knocking

Knocking

Same story, same outcome

They’re always trying to use the System

Knocking

Knocking.

.

She, she’s knocking, I know that vibration

(I don’t want to do this again)

Open, I see you

Rage, like lightning, bolts through

Attacking, jousting

All I want to do is slay.

Slay that demon inside you

Wake you up from that dream

Get you off your sorry-ass victim horsey.

Usually, I win

Usually, I penetrate

Usually, I hear my voice echo, triumphant

Over yours

Smaller

So much

Smaller.

But this time

(I don’t want to do this again)

You’re not responding

You’re not fighting

You’re not reacting

This, this seems to be a different kind

Of demon

And I look in your eyes

And you look into mine

And I don’t know who is what

And my voice cracks

And I stumble.

Remembering, quickly remembering

I shore myself up

And pretend

But you standing

But you looking

But you, curling hand back to heart

Staring

Something is different.

My heart hurts

And I feel very strange

But I know what I have to do

And read off of

The system generated steps

The typical offered plan.

I’m thankful for this script

As my center is evaporating quickly

My tower crumbling

(I’m a good builder so I quickly replace the bricks)

But you standing

But you turning

But you, not fighting

I’ve forgotten what’s next

I just watch you walk away

I just watch you walk away

I just watch you walk away

And try to forget

I don’t want to do this again

Luminations

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Actually, She’s always full

Only choosing to lift Her skirt

To show us the meaning of Time

Laughing

.

Bathing under ever-present

Full and glory glow

Run rampant with climax

She knows, She knows

.

She knows our hands

Need tempering

Our wild mind wolf soul

Needs titration

The lucky

The lucky

The lucky

Can follow

.

Actually

Her ever-present fullness

Unseen

She knows

She knows

When Void will deepen us

When the knife will push us on

When the contrast

Of sparkling nightime oceans

Will give us strength

And awe

To continue

As our tears, begging

Dissolve into sand

.

Light and Dark

She’s all of this

Always

.

What we see is another

And Her magic

Her rhythms

Her wise coy reveal

Always, actually

She’s full

.

And with Her magic

We learn

How to Be

With the fullness

And the emptiness

Of the everything

And the nothing

And the in between

And the question echoes we hide,

The terrifying disappearances

Floating, thrashing

Desperate for core

She knows

She shows

This

That we truly are

Always

The 100 Calorie Absurdity

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One two three
Four five six
Seven


Seven
Fucking
Almonds
Now was that so hard?

For months
The line of 50
Has been uncrossable
But now, after proper reflection
The Seven are added

.

Nausea acidic hurl
Sloshes to and fro
She doesn’t want this
The fermented bubbly excuse
For an oasis in the desert

.

Why is it
That 100 is so damned difficult
The feeling of fullness so terrifying
That absurdities, ones that
Don’t
Really
Even
Matter
Rule the breath filled day?

.

Once again the Seven join
Despite what illogical regimen surrounds
Once again
Bootstraps are pulled
Victimy box dancing child
Invited to

Get Up Off The Floor

Why does the forgetting commence?
Surely depth, some great alchemical equation

Some cultural shadow reflection

Some unconscious puppetry

Is at root of it all?

.

Or perhaps

Everyone

Gets

Stuck

Sometimes

.

Waking from a deep, self-forgetting numbness

I give myself

Compassion

Darkness

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Let the darkness eat your eyes

it will give them back to you

and you will know

compassion

Let the darkness

tear open your form

release your

glowing innards

Let the darkness

leave you still

on the cold, cold earth

watch it play

as you stand witness

your eyes, its form

Let the darkness heal you

stitch you back together

fill your occiputs

nuzzle your cheek

This friend

it teaches

it heals

it terrifies

it waits

Let the darkness eat your eyes

it will give them back to you

and you will

Know

~This poem was recently published in a women’s literary anthology! If you’re interested in all of the other amazing reflections on this timely structure, check out Death: Deep Reflections from The Sisters of The Holy Pen, ed. Pamela Eakins at:

https://www.amazon.com/Death-Deep-Reflections-Sisters-Holy/dp/B08GVJLKZN/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=death+eakins&qid=1599943100&s=books&sr=1-1