Blessed, blessed Mabon
Blessed, blessed Autumnal Equinox
Light and Dark, equal
How will the Descent
Serve our Transformation?
.
.




And blessed, blessed Spring Equinox to my Southern Hemisphere friends :}}
Blessed, blessed Mabon
Blessed, blessed Autumnal Equinox
Light and Dark, equal
How will the Descent
Serve our Transformation?
.
.




And blessed, blessed Spring Equinox to my Southern Hemisphere friends :}}

She throws off the sheepskin
Stretching her wiry body that’s been through so much
She smiles, taking in this simple home she’s created
A hearthfire crackles in the corner
The scent of woodsmoke fills the air
She
Is happy
.
Shuffling into the kitchen
Before her are odd shaped and gleaming
Glass jars filled with all sorts of herbal beauties
Golds and greens and sunflower yellows
One in particular calls her aim
.
Trusting
She pulls down the shining canister
And shakes a bit of the plant into a pot
Cold water trickles from the well-sourced tap
A match hisses as she brings the stovetop to life
.
Humming and stirring
She’s thinking of magic
All of the things she’d like to bring in
Stories are words, words given meaning
And speaking them, infusing
Like matchlight, will bring them to life
.
What stories she wonders
Does she want to create and dance in today?
Here she lies focus, here she sings into being
.
The Kitchen Witch
She dances in the kitchen
She thinks back to times
When this place was but a cage
She recalls the journey, the transmutation
From being assigned to duty here
From being accused of poisonings and torture here
Through the epigenetic spirals
She’s arrived, finally
To delighting in creation here
At her healing cauldron
.
For her
Only for her
And when she wishes,
She crafts things here for others
And when she wishes
She invites the young ones
So struggling with nourishment
And body
And being alive in this cold, confusing world
Sometimes, when she wishes
She sits them right down at her splintering wooden table
And they drink tea
And talk about dreams
And look out the window onto her garden
.
The Kitchen Witch
She remembers
She re-members
She hums and she stirs
She focuses her stories, her words, her
Spell-ing
Into the waiting and willing plant potions before her
She feels the soft fur of the familiar brushing against her ankles
She smiles
She is grateful
For this long road
And how the magic
Of the Kitchen Witch
Found its way
Into her heart

What if
The deep hunger for emptiness
The torturous aims to achieve
Were the only ways she knew
To create space for herself, within herself
The only way
To approximate a clearing of the maelstrom
Energies
Voices
Visions
Ancestral beggings
Unaligned cords and commitments
His energy
His energy
His energy
Swirling like a tangle of poison
A burden, forced to carry
In her pit
.
What if
This was the only way she knew
To feel clear?
What if
Releasing cellular matter
Kilo by kilo
Actually felt like releasing
Old imprinted matter
That no longer serves?
Matter she had no choice to receive
Mother, her energy
Her energy
Her energy
.
What if
She could create
An equally powerful tool
To clear, to clean, to build
Space
Without destruction
To create
Space
Without suffering
To create
Space
For her full, joyous being
Kicking those freeloaders out of the window
To let in the light
To take up root and grow
Large
.
She only knew
The tool of going without
She only knew
The feeling of nothing
Hovering in her stomach
As a sort of power
To claim her space
But ironically
This tool, precisely applied
Only destroyed her
.
What if, instead
She poured her obsessive, meticulous
Attention
On magick
On psychic realm protections
On creating shimmering boundary
Crafting space
Space
Space
For the altars–
The Dark Goddess Altar
The Inner Child Altar
The Altar of the Shadowy realms, exalted
Occupying her hands
And her minutes
And her mind
With teachings
And community
And reminders
That her body is not broken
And that she is not confused
And that this roiling mass within her
Does not belong,
And that she has the power to clear it
To claim her own space
To tend her own altars
To make room for the brilliance of life
Urging to live through her in Beauty
.
What if, instead
Of arranging every single molecule
Every single gram, second, kilo
To somehow engender the feeling
Of the deep, deep certain emptiness of hunger
What if, instead
She occupied magician’s mind
Throwing down pathwork
Fighting valiantly for
The creation of true space
Sacred space
Defending
An incomparable
Uniqueness
A remarkable
Glistening starlight
A temple, lined with offerings
Her sacred space
Her sacred space
Her
Sacred
Space
.
Of Skin

Something a little different this week, my friends! Here is an excerpt from the semi-fictional grimoire in my upcoming novel, The Kitchen Witch. Enjoy!
.
BONE MAGIC: HONORING THE LOVE OF BONES
There is a particular fondness for bones amongst many with eating difficulties, mostly in seeing them jut out from oneself as proof of ultimate thinness. While glorifying thin bodies is obviously a twisted carryover from our fashion worlds, I also feel it has more sacred roots.
In many cultures around the world, there is what is known as the Crone figure. This has often been portrayed as the ugly, wicked old woman in the forest in our contemporary times. However, in other cultures this archetype held great power and respect rather than disgust. The Crone symbolized facing death, destruction and the dying of the old to make room for the new. Many stories described her, sitting by a fire, throwing sticks and stones for divination, her countenance adorned with various feathers and skeletal pieces from animals. She was also often skeletal looking, not for fashion’s sake, but to depict one on the edge of life and death, working with those mysteries.
The Crone worked with death, strove to understand it. Her bones, both protruding from her body and adorning her body, represented this connection, this acceptance of this great Mystery of our experience as humans.
The Crone honored the bones. I’d like to propose that one struggling with a restrictive eating disorder, who spends so much effort in looking for, searching for her bones, is a Crone in hiding. I propose she is not looking for thinness for the sake of being thin, but that she is searching for this Crone within her, to see its evidence within her and the collective psyche. She does not know it, but if she survives the initiation, she will become the Crone.
So, in honor of the Crone, in honor of our searching, starving, scratching, and seeking her to reveal herself through our skin, I present this chapter. It outlines some ways to take this love of bones, and this yearning for Crone, and to embrace it, create with it, learn from it in life-giving ways. That instead of twisting this deep yearning into a practice that is literally killing off the potential to honor the Crone’s wisdom, instead we will embrace it.

“But what about the food?”
The young girl asked
The old, wise eyes gazing back upon her
“All of these philosophical waxings
All of this spiritual idealism
But what
About
The
Food??
I’ve talked too long
And thought too much
And tried my best
To daydream of better days
Beyond the constant need to measure
Beyond the fear of eating different foods
Beyond the rituals, the timings, the incessant hopelessness
That I’ll never be free
But I can’t see
I can’t see beyond
This cage
What
About
That?!?”
.
The old woman smiled through the bars
Deep compassion and a wry spice, wrinkling
She took a breath, and said
“Start where you are, dearie
That’s howcome you can’t see out
You must
Start inside
.
“Start inside, blessing all the furniture
That makes up this sacred mind-home
Although it is a cage
It has, after all
Kept you very safe.”
.
Peppered braid moved across shoulder
As she looked out to field
“If you measure, bless those cups
If you weigh, bless that scale
If you time-tick, give offerings to the sacredness of Chronos
If you eat the same thing
Every single day
Scour the grimoires
For the enchanting qualities of these foods
See where they are speaking magic
To you
.
Stir clockwise
Prayers for freedom, release
Into the liquids you can consume
Carve spells for change, vision
Across the same, hard bar
You consume over and over again
Like the slaves in deep dark territory
Rolling cigars with dirt and leaves for Legba
Start…
Where you are.”
.
The girl looked at the woman
Who stared out to the field
Girl-mouth agape
And devouring
The words she never knew
She needed to hear
Those blasphemous and wild
Life-giving, not enabling
Trickster words
“Start
Where you are”
.
And so,
She retreated from the small opening
That looked out to the woman
And her eyes, and her smile, and her
Spice
She turned and looked around
At the blank and dismal walls
Of her tiny, tiny world
She lit a candle
Holding it up to it all
And start
She did

This is not a glorification
But an exploration
A
Questioning
.
What lies beneath
The veneer of psychiatric diagnosis
The attempt to box in
The wideness, the vastness, the depth
Of what a soul is truly living
In this lifetime
Across centuries
In their own bodies
And perhaps
The traumas and wisdoms inherited
How can this be lassoed into a code
.
This is not a glorification
But an exploration
A
Questioning
For instance,
Of the roots
To the incredible and terrifying
Pull towards starving the self,
Of what urges move a person
To come so close to the brink of death
Beyond the need for prideful appreciation
Of external appearances
Of what lies beneath
This seemingly macabre practice
.
Although such actions appear crazy
And pills are at the ready to
Bring the sufferer back to “normal”
Why are no efforts made
Why no attention paid
To the history of fasting
As ritual, as rite of passage
Why not
At the same time as necessary treating, feeding
An exploring of the need to honor, and update the ancestral lineage
Not just shame and re-cover
This precious pulling
.
Why no contemplation
On the possibilities
Of the drastic behaviors leading to institutions
As being an unconscious need for dismemberment, separation
From enmeshed family systems, from unwell tribe?
Why no efforts made
At looking to the archetypes
The Ascetic
The Monk
The Nun
The self-immolating
Witch
Who has taken the external inquisition of yore
Upon herself to display?
.
Why no questioning
Of possible cellular memories, unearthing
Waking up in a lifetime, reeling
With no tools, no guide
And certainly no place
In a high school?
.
Yes, science, I know
Yes, double blind studies, I know
Yes, things we can see and touch and monitor
I know
.
But
What may they be trying to teach
These ones, struggling with unreasonable urges of death
Isolation, and unshakeable need
To practice cruel, strict regimen
That strips them to core
.
Why no attention paid to
The fact they may be
Canaries in the coal mine
Harbingers reflecting the morass
Of twisted expectations we face daily
Screaming at us with bones jutting
Mirroring what we are doing to ourselves
Just how starved the soul of our species might be?
.
I wish there were
Past life explorations
And contemplations
Of political protesters
Of Gandhi and Cesar Chavez
Of Siddhas alchemizing world pain
Of Ramadan
Of the Seventeenth of Tamuz
Of Vrata
Of Sallekhana
Of Nigredo, Albedo
Of Lent and all the age-old practices
That may be arising in their bones
.
I wish there were
Talks of an empath nature
Simply explaining that for some
Things feel like too much
And of course
Reducing, measuring, clearing feel good
They are the only tools at hand
In this cultural waste land
Why no validation of this possible fact
While also finding ways to give new methods
Finding ways to match mentors, elders
Finding ways
To guide
.
Are these the holy roots?
The holy roots of what is deemed disorder?
These diagnostic delineations cloaking
What is really
Sacred?
What lies beneath
The veneer of psychiatric diagnosis
The attempt to box in
The wideness, the vastness, the depth
Of what a soul is truly living?
.
Holy Roots?
Are there
Holy Roots?
This is not a glorification
But an exploration
A call for treatment and
An honoring of the possibility
Of the pull towards the ancient sacred
Within
.
*Thank you for reading! This is a very complex idea I am trying to bring into form clearly, it is a work in progress. Comments welcome :}}

As I have mentioned before, I am deep in the throes of editing and planning to publish a trilogy called, “The Kitchen Witch’s Way.” This is a series about Regina, a skeptical woman who has tried everything to get over her eating problems and who has found herself at a place of despair and meaninglessness about it all. She’s found Ingal, an old woman healer that purports to have some new ideas about treating eating disorders, and Regina is giving it one last shot by going to meet up with her and hear what she’s all about.
Upon meeting Regina, Ingal makes sure to clarify with her what she is, and is not, here to provide if they work together. Regina has had previous dialogue with Ingal asking her about how “treatment” works, how working with a Kitchen Witch could possibly do anything different than all of the providers she’s seen. Ingal speaks to her in this moment as she’s arrived at the mountain property about this topic. I’m still working on her character, but I’d love to know what you think about her voice!
“Welcome Regina. How was the trip? So good to finally meet, me lass!
Now, do you have that paperwork for me? Have ye signed the agreement? It’s a very important, that you know this work isn’t about fixing you. That I am not here to do that, nor am I trained in such matters. That I be a bit different than the therapist, or the dietitian, or the doctor, or the treatment center, or the meal plan that you have undoubtedly consulted with and worked with for many years.
Nay, I be one who’ll help you explore the spiritual side of your journey, who is not here to fix you or help you to get over or get rid of the eating problems. No, I’m not here to help you get rid of anything!
Me dear, I be here to help you explore why the “problem” has come, the perspective of why it’s right, and of why it may not be backin’ down…so that you will listen to what it has to teach!
I be here to walk you through the deeper journey of understanding of illness. Why has a’ the spirit of the illness come? Why it’sa chosen you and why it ain’t given up until you get its message? These be the questions.
Now, as ye read on that there paperwork, if ye have a physical emergency or a psychological or traumatic breakdown, I be here with you, but let’s be real. I know you have access and know very full well you got to go to your treatment team for that. But for me and you, we be explorin’ the meaning. We be explorin’ the sacredness. We be explorin’ the possibility of what you’ve been dealing with…being something not wrong, but right.
Mind ye, skeptical beauty, that this is an exploration. An experiment in seeing what might happen if we re-story your journey in this way. I don’t claim to have the answers, but I do think you may be tired of knockin’ on the same doors over and over again. That you may be seeking something deeper than all that’s come before. Not that it’s wrong or unhelpful, it helped you get where you are. And you are here! You be at my door, you be at my crossroads, because you want to look through a different set a’ goggles. That’s what we’ll be doin’ together, and seein’ what that unfolds.
Do you understand? My lass, do you want to join me? If so, let us begin!”

for those of you who don’t know, i am working on a magical realism trilogy called The Kitchen Witch’s Way. this mystical romp is a tale centered around a skeptical young woman, her run-ins with a rascally kitchen witch and her encounters with the grimoire that rewrites everything she’s been programmed to believe about her challenging relationship with food and her body.
.
there’s some peeks into the actual grimoire matter throughout the series with an eventual goal of releasing the full grimoire as a separate text. plus, it’s cottage-core! the witch’s cabin in the woods, the blossoming herb gardens, and the town setting complete with a tarot-reader’s bohemian caravan, black cat familiars and the town’s happening cafe and music venue, The Bitter End are just a few of the reasons you might want to spend some time in this world. i’m still working on my elevator pitch so judge me if you will but that’s the current jist :}
.
i am writing here today to share my excitement about having just hired and put in my first deposit for a developmental editor for the first book in the series! they’re all basically written, but this is only the beginning of the trail. i’m not entirely sure how i will finance the entire journey but putting the magick into the pot of possibilities and seeing what happens.
.
i am working on a Kickstarter campaign and will share those links once the book is actually road-worthy of such things for those who may be interested. a collection of some of the poems i’ve shared here may show up as a gift for supporters. it is honestly a bit overwhelming all the little ins and out of the journey but as always micro-goals are my friend.
.
it is a long road to self-publishing (see developmental editing stage in the oldie-but-goodie graphic below) but this trilogy is definitely one of my life/death goals and i will pursue it to the ends. stay tuned and thanks for being with me on the ride! ![]()
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~raVen

“Wise art thou
If thou knowest
That the subtle serpent of temptation
Is in truth the anointed one
Who bringeth thee
To liberation.”
~Paul Foster Case









Blessed Be ![]()
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Soul-Centered Psychology, Coaching, and Education based on Jungian, Depth, Transpersonal, and Archetypal Perspectives | Somatic, Symbolic, Shamanic
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“Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little." -- Edmund Burke
Explore with me as I live this life on the leading edge of Spirit
by smswaby
Revealing self after decades of hiding in eating disorderland
Eating Disorder Recovery for Adults
ANCESTRAL FOOD. HERBAL WISDOM. MAGICAL COOKERY. SEASONAL CELEBRATION.