The question

At the center of the Tree

Asks

What will guide you?

Yearning for some great Queen

Or archetypal wizard

My answer:

Cause…and Effect

.

Now, at first

Frustrated breath from nostril

A shaking fist at Trickster

Cursing for one more layer of confusion

At first

There was just more rage

.

But then

The question sank deeper

The answer swirling, embedding, smiling

And another door, sounding

.

The query began riddling:

You will be guided by cause and effect

You will be guided by what effect

You want to be the cause of

Your guide will not be something in the sky

Or some magickal being

Your guide

Will be you

Your guide will be the answer

To the hardest question:

What is it

That you truly want?

What is it

That you truly want your presence

To leave in its wake?

.

And then,

Silence

Silence

Silence

This question that has walked me

For all of my life

And the blankness that follows

Again,

Frustrated breath from nostril

Fist shaking to Trickster

And rage

.

This is the question of all questions

Do you agree?

One that I’ve never been able to really answer

Instead, leaving things to Mystery, to The River

To Presence and What Is

How then,

Does cause…and effect

Now decide to guide me?

How then,

In the midst of blankness

Of empty fields of vision

Does cause…and effect

Have any chance

In guiding me?

.

I breathe

I know there is something changing

Here in the center of The Tree

And I ask:

What effect

Do I want to be the cause of?

I do my best

To listen

.

Silence

Silence

Silence

And then

Imagination rises, asking:

What if, when people interacted with my offerings…

They would trust their life more,

Trust its inherent initiatory but hard loving nature…

That they would begin to see everyday occurrences and challenges

As sacred teachings being offered…

That they would begin to see the patterns

And magick happenings for them

The many daily ways

The world and their Life itself

Speaks specifically to them, for them…

That they begin to see their troubles (and awe)

As opportunities to look deeply into those part of themselves

For reconciliation and healing

Seeing that on some level,

We are all just mirroring each other

In order for our species’ wounds

To re-member…

That they would have such sacred experiences in nature

And with other living beings

That it no longer makes sense

To destroy them…

That they would trust even pain and deep illness

As a teacher, coming

Redirecting and deepening their lives

If they would but let it speak to them…

That they would become curious about

And playful creative with

Their own dark sides

Instead of casting blame and lynching

Those that hold it, heavy, for them…

That they could become self-loving

Despite the state of car, job, body, or intimate relationship

They may be experiencing as “less than ideal”

.

Silence

Silence

Silence

.

Whoa!

Where did that come from?

If that is the effect

If that is the vision

Here, in the center of The Tree

How could I possibly be the cause

When figuring that out

Seems like trying to create a business plan

For how

To become God

.

Silence

Silence

Silence

.

Blankness

Blankness

Blankness

.

Am I being asked

To plan my way to embody this cause?

And if so,

Why does it bring such blankness,

Overwhelm, such doubt?

Why

Am I just left

Staring?

.

I clear the way

I erase the plan

Allowing Life to work through

Staying present

Breath

This is all

I know how to do

And

Perhaps

That is the cause

And the effect

And how Life

And pain

And strife

And joy

Everyday

Here

At the center of The Tree

Perhaps that

Is how

It will show me

The way

.

I thank the life

Of the question

And the spirit

Of the answer

That just pirouetted

From the vastness

Into my mind

And now

There’s just silence

Silence

Silence

.