The question
At the center of the Tree
Asks
What will guide you?
Yearning for some great Queen
Or archetypal wizard
My answer:
Cause…and Effect
.
Now, at first
Frustrated breath from nostril
A shaking fist at Trickster
Cursing for one more layer of confusion
At first
There was just more rage
.
But then
The question sank deeper
The answer swirling, embedding, smiling
And another door, sounding
.
The query began riddling:
You will be guided by cause and effect
You will be guided by what effect
You want to be the cause of
Your guide will not be something in the sky
Or some magickal being
Your guide
Will be you
Your guide will be the answer
To the hardest question:
What is it
That you truly want?
What is it
That you truly want your presence
To leave in its wake?
.
And then,
Silence
Silence
Silence
This question that has walked me
For all of my life
And the blankness that follows
Again,
Frustrated breath from nostril
Fist shaking to Trickster
And rage
.
This is the question of all questions
Do you agree?
One that I’ve never been able to really answer
Instead, leaving things to Mystery, to The River
To Presence and What Is
How then,
Does cause…and effect
Now decide to guide me?
How then,
In the midst of blankness
Of empty fields of vision
Does cause…and effect
Have any chance
In guiding me?
.
I breathe
I know there is something changing
Here in the center of The Tree
And I ask:
What effect
Do I want to be the cause of?
I do my best
To listen
.
Silence
Silence
Silence
And then
Imagination rises, asking:
What if, when people interacted with my offerings…
They would trust their life more,
Trust its inherent initiatory but hard loving nature…
That they would begin to see everyday occurrences and challenges
As sacred teachings being offered…
That they would begin to see the patterns
And magick happenings for them
The many daily ways
The world and their Life itself
Speaks specifically to them, for them…
That they begin to see their troubles (and awe)
As opportunities to look deeply into those part of themselves
For reconciliation and healing
Seeing that on some level,
We are all just mirroring each other
In order for our species’ wounds
To re-member…
That they would have such sacred experiences in nature
And with other living beings
That it no longer makes sense
To destroy them…
That they would trust even pain and deep illness
As a teacher, coming
Redirecting and deepening their lives
If they would but let it speak to them…
That they would become curious about
And playful creative with
Their own dark sides
Instead of casting blame and lynching
Those that hold it, heavy, for them…
That they could become self-loving
Despite the state of car, job, body, or intimate relationship
They may be experiencing as “less than ideal”
.
Silence
Silence
Silence
.
Whoa!
Where did that come from?
If that is the effect
If that is the vision
Here, in the center of The Tree
How could I possibly be the cause
When figuring that out
Seems like trying to create a business plan
For how
To become God
.
Silence
Silence
Silence
.
Blankness
Blankness
Blankness
.
Am I being asked
To plan my way to embody this cause?
And if so,
Why does it bring such blankness,
Overwhelm, such doubt?
Why
Am I just left
Staring?
.
I clear the way
I erase the plan
Allowing Life to work through
Staying present
Breath
This is all
I know how to do
And
Perhaps
That is the cause
And the effect
And how Life
And pain
And strife
And joy
Everyday
Here
At the center of The Tree
Perhaps that
Is how
It will show me
The way
.
I thank the life
Of the question
And the spirit
Of the answer
That just pirouetted
From the vastness
Into my mind
And now
There’s just silence
Silence
Silence
.
Letting Go 