Coverage

the System says

everything’s okay

how is it then

i feel like i’m dying

.

invisible pain, from waking til rest

extreme anxiety and overwhelm

at each new turn

tossing turning

every single night

terrors of vision

haunting me

a small, small life

squeezing

empty

and dry

.

the System says

everything’s okay

no signs on the screen

how is it then

i feel like i’m dying

.

past experience shows

emergency begets real help

i know how to do emergency

i need real help

but do i have to create emergency

again

to get it?

how i yearn for

the level of care

the level of seriousness

the level of focus

the level of support

the level of transformation

the level of

Coverage

that emergency seems to yield

.

but i don’t want to do this anymore

this starving, torturing of dear body

just to get 

to this level

just to qualify

for this level

how can i

access this level

without

bringing myself to emergency?

surely there must be another way

its the only way this psyche knows

and so it expresses

to the System, hoping

.

but please

tell me there’s another path

to address this feeling

to address this suffocating

to address this pain

to address this 

dying

to get Coverage

than to put myself

through the crucifixion 

again

so they 

will see

.

is it me

or is it the System

that creates such a desperate need

to qualify

for Coverage

((a note from the Underworld times))